Once Again to Edna

So as I was catching up on the Blogspot world I came across my dear friend Steven Smark's blog. In this one post he talked about his mom's very good friend who recently passed away. He also described the type of person she was and how he wished there were more people like her.

As I read his post I could help but think about the person that I want to be and how far away from that I am. I want to be a person that truly loves God, loves people, and loves what he does. I want to be that type of person who's smile is contagious. That person who can lighten your mood no matter how depressed you are. I want to be that person who can't keep in the love that they have. It just spills all over the place.

I cannot say though that I am anywhere close to this vision for myself. In fact, it seems like I am the exact opposite. Much like what my friend Laura Feagan said in her blog, I also tend to shrink away from the same people that I say I want to love. I fool myself into thinking that I will have more fun reading in my room by myself instead of going out to eat with a couple of friends. I would rather waste time by myself doing something completely unnecessary instead of spending a few extra special moments with a friend.

So once again I hit the same wall that I've found myself at so many times before. Only through the help of my Lord and Savior can I ever hope to accomplish this. I, a natural loner, must learn to live a lifestyle that is filled with love. I want it to be perfectly clear that Christ has done a work in me. 

"By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." John 13:35